Wednesday, January 20, 2010


To: Mary
From: S
Date: 01/20/2010 08:28PM
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: Tell me many kind words dear.

Dear Nataliya (your new name!),

So sorry for my late reply. I’ve been super busy building an Ark!

This is fun, right? Going by a new name? I’ll be honest with you Mary/Nataliya I was a little disappointed you didn’t choose ‘Henry’. It’s actually my all-time favorite Russian girls name. But as they say, ‘your body, your choice’.

That was one hell of a dream you had. It felt so real, like a typical day for me, especially when you mentioned how “we with You walked in park and a fur-tree ice-cream” – talk about déjà vu!

So about the $950 you just so casually threw into the conversation. Sounds like you’ve taken a good long swim in Lake You and really come up with some answers. The main answer, being ME. I thought long and hard about this request Henry. (Can I call you 'Henry'? I know you picked 'Nataliya' as your new name, but 'Henry' just feels so right- like eating a bowl of oatmeal wearing angel wings, ya know?). I want the best for you. I want you to walk in parks and eat fur-tree ice cream. I want you to continue to ‘flied somewhere in clouds’. You deserve it Henry, you do.

Anyway, the big question is: will I help you? Let’s just say I will help you the same way mercury poisoning helped Jeremy Piven get out of that piss-weak Broadway play “Speed-the-Plow’. But first, I need you to answer some personal questions to help me justify my decision.

1) Where is your nearest 7-11?
2) Are you allergic to any types of wood? (not including balsa)

Weeee! okay now you ask me questions!!!!!!!

Righto, i've got work to do - roads don't paved themselves - but as you say: “I look forward to hearing from you with VERY VERY VERY BIG impatience!”

Your friend,

I sent you a photo of me. It's a little blurry, but i'm the one sitting on the white tiger wearing the hat. I ware hat too!!!

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